The Most Powerfull Forces Against Me Part I

I was always wondering why did everything go wrong. Everything I wanted would go against me, or it will go backwards.

When I was younger, my team mates (swimming) and I would always pray to the great god of hail and rain, to pass a great cloud over us. With all its might it should send a lightning bolt that would rumble the earth. A great storm would come and last for three hours wiping upon earth that day´s training. Obviously, it never worked! From my entire 7 years of training, we have been only stopped training two times for a thunderstorm. When there is a thunderstorm, normally it ceases just on time for training. By now, I just gave up on the idea.

In the good side, when I think I may fail the test, sometimes I don't. That is because all the forces are against me and do the opposite as I wish. When I normally think, I want to lower my time in competition, it never happens, it gets worse.

It is so frustrating. I cant fantasise being the best woman polo player in history because the other day, I play horribly bad. I may think, well if I don't say it out loud, it wont happen. well it always does. Everything I do or will want to do, the forces will always take me on the contrary.
If I expect something to happen, I cant fear the reality because what it usually occurs is even worse than the reality. Reality vs. Expectation usually don't work in my case.

I had figured out that to have my expectations completed, I should think as most pessimist as possible. It may be very annoying, but is the only way. If I have cheerful and cool thoughts, it all end up in sadness and misery.

A short time ago, we were going to visit my mother´s friend{s hotel in India. I didn't know what to expect form it, because it is or the Rambaj Palace or the Oberoi Hotel, or it is a small and horrible place. It was hot and I was cranky, and didn't really wanna go. My big sister who had already been there told us it was terrible. I had figured that out because what do you expect in a hotel in India that costs just 2 dollars the night? i was really getting worried. With all my pessimists thoughts, it resulted that it was the most beautiful place I have ever seen. It was like a typical Indian style. It had polo horses, chipmunks and peacocks. it was like a paradise that costs just 2 dollars. The man even gave us six polo sticks! In Argentina each worn out stick may be of 100 dollars and 400 if it is new! The forces did as I didn't want to (or thought of), it was all the opposite.

I just need to start working on my opposite way of thinking, so i could fool this power. Maybe in the end, I will finally get what I really want. (Now for saying this, it will never happen).

to be continued...